‘Either way, we win.’ As he was becoming more prone to do, Ethan closed his eyes and turned his head away. ‘As you shall know the truth, the truth will set you free,’ he intoned. ‘What’s that, Ethan,’ Jarrod asked. Ethan turned his face toward his friend. He opened his eyes, but it wasn’t certain that he was looking at Jarrod, or even saw him. ‘Before Abraham was, I am,’ he annunciated clearly. Ethan’s face was pale and had no expression, his eyes wide open and bloodshot. He had spoken as though his words were not intended for Jarrod’s ears, but for a Being, perhaps himself, existing in another dimension. ‘Ethan, wake up!’ Jarrod yelled to get his attention. Ethan gave a small start. Jarrod could see his eyes focusing on him once again. Ethan did a slight double take on Jarrod, as if he was surprised to see him sitting in his study. ‘Are you alright, Ethan?’ Jarrod asked in a loud voice. ‘You look like you don’t feel very well.’ ‘So many worries!’ Ethan mumbled in a tired voice.. Having settled the bill, we walked out to the car-park together, and as we were about to leave, I couldn’t help myself but I hugged them both tightly thanking them for supporting me and making it so much easier for me to start again. They made the suitable reply about it being nothing, but sometimes I forgot that they were suffering as much as I was, that their grief was just as real and vivid as mine ever was. After all no parent should ever outlive their child, I hugged Claire tightly, telling them that I would never forget what they had done for us, before agreeing that we would see them later in the week and heading home. Sitting in the car, Rachel seemed quieter than normal, asking her if she was ok? She told me she was fine, but I could see that she was still deep in thought, the kids were quiet too, so I drove through the lanes lost in my own thoughts, thinking how lucky I was to find her, hoping that the merger would be ok, a million things that run through your mind.
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